


Remembering You

by orphan_account



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Car Accident, Coma, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hospital, M/M, One Shot, near-death, remembering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-03
Updated: 2015-04-03
Packaged: 2018-03-21 00:32:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3670839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan wakes up in a hospital, remembering nothing until a doctor tells him his name. He almost was killed in a car accident, but leaves his recovery with almost no scars, except for not remembering anything about his life. A man named Phil, who apparently was his best friend, tries to get Dan to remember, and Dan does try, but he just can't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Remembering You

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this all in at once so pardon if its bad  
> this is my first actually serious fic that im posting on this site

I woke up and looked around. Everything was a little woozy. My first instict was to get up, but a painful tugging from my arm proved that impossible. I was hooked up to several machines. In the corner of my room, there was a small table and some flowers. A passing nurse saw me and pushed a button to call the doctor on the doorway of my room. Why was I in a hospital? I had a feeling I should be worrying but I didn't really care. The dizzy feeling didn't really leave me, so it was probably painkillers that I was on.

A doctor rushed in soon and started checking the machines I was hooked up to. I lazily looked at him. He smiled back at me.

"Hey Dan, you're finally up."

Dan. My name was Dan.

I nodded. "Why am I here?" He scribbled some things down on a clipboard.

"You got into a car accident about a month ago. You suffered a pretty bad injury to your head so you'll be experiencing some memory problems. It may come back to you, but we can't make any promises."

I nodded again. I recognized the seriousness of his statement but it didn't hit me. 

"Do I have any family?"

"We can't let anyone see you yet. You just woke up after all, if something triggers your memory this early, it may cause psychological damage."

"Oh," I was a bit disappointed. I was curious about myself. "When can anyone see me?"

The doctor got up and got ready to leave. "Maybe tomorrow, if all goes well. If you need anything just push the call button. Try to get some rest."

I nodded and lay back down.  
-  
The next day, countless nurses and doctors bustled by my bedside, but none stopped to answer my questions. Eventually, the same doctor from yesterday entered.

"Hello Dan. There's someone here for you. Do you think you're ready to talk to anyone?"

I nodded, smiling. 

"Okay. I'll send them in."

A minute later a man walked in. He beamed at the sight of me.

"Hey Dan." He whispered, making his way to the chair beside my bed. His movements were fluid and quiet, as if if he made any sound he would fall through the floor.

I stared blankly into his blue eyes. I felt not a twinge of memory.

"Hello." I answered simply. I felt a bit disappointed I didn't remember everything right then and there, but I supposed these things take time.

His face visibly fell as he realized I didn't know who he was.

"I'm sorry, did I know you?" I softly asked. He was silent for a bit, then got up. He left, despite my protests.

The nurses passing by gave me sympathetic looks the rest of the night.  
-  
"Who was that man?" I asked the doctor, whose name turned out to be Doctor Brennan.

"He was your best friend, at least that's how he introduced himself as. You used to live together."

"What's his name?"

"Phil. Phil Lester."  
-  
"Will Phil be in again?" I asked the next day. "I want to know more things about myself."

Doctor Brennan looked at me sympathetically. "I'm not sure. He's upset. You were in a coma for nearly a month you know. We'll try calling him again but I can't make any promises."  
-  
A week later, Phil came back. I smiled brightly. 

"Phil!" 

"Dan! Do you remember?" 

He seemed so happy. I'd hate to ruin his mood.

"No. The doctor told me your name. I'm sorry. I've been trying really hard to remember."

"Oh. Okay." He sat down again. "I'm really sorry for leaving, but I didn't know you wouldn't remember me."

I tried to laugh lightheartedly, but it came out forced. "I'm sorry about that. But maybe you could tell me some things."

He shook his head. "I can't tell you much. The doctor said just little things, and maybe let your memory come back on its own."

"Please? Just a little." I pleaded.

He sighed and looked into my eyes. "I brought something. It might make you remember something."  
He pulled out a little stuffed lion and put him in my lap. I felt a pang of something and my head started to hurt.

"Lion." I blurted out. 

Phil sucked his breath in. "Yes! Do you remember anything else?" 

I was silent for a moment, staring at the little plush thing on my lap. 

"Do you know the feeling, where you have part of a song stuck in your head, but you don't remember the song? And you feel yourself going a bit crazy over it? Just a litle. But you spend a part of your day desperately trying to find the whole song, so you can listen to it and be over with it. But you can't and you keep singing that little part you remember over and over, analyzing it and hoping you remember something? That's what I'm feeling. I'm sorry Phil. I'm trying. I really am."

I looked into his eyes and saw tears there.

"I know Dan. I just hope you remember the song."  
-  
Phil visited everyday. I grew dependent on him. Every time he laughed, I felt something. Every time he stared at me when he didn't think I noticed, I felt something. I didn't know what I felt, but something came back to me everyday. 

It wasn't memories, more like memories of memories. Ghosts of what I once knew and felt and touched. I tried to remember. I really did try. Phil was patient with me, but I could tell it hurt him that I didn't remember. 

It hurt me too.   
-  
Phil started to bring in pictures. At first doctor Brennan expressed disproval of this, but after seeing how genuinely happy I was when Phil was around, he became more lenient. He showed me our friends like Chris and PJ. He also showed me pictures of my family, and his family. He showed me pictures of gatherings we'd had with friends that we were less close with. He showed me pictures from our apartments and pictures of everyday things from my old life in hopes that I would remember them, but only one thing gave me those pangs of partial memories.

He enjoyed showing me them the most as well.

Pictures of us together, anywhere really. Candid photos of us watching TV or falling asleep in places. Photos of us when we visited other places around the country, or even to places like shops. Pictures of us in the apartment, with other people occasionally. 

I knew we weren't just best friends, it was quite obvious, from some of the pictures and the way he acted. I could tell why I had fallen for him before.

-

Over the next few weeks, Phil started telling me stories. They were never stories about major events, just things like the time I got my head stuck in the train doors, or about the time we filmed a short movie with our friend PJ and we had to have paper mache on our faces.

I watched him more than listened to him when he told me these stories. I started to notice so many little things about him, like how his tongue poked out of his mouth a bit when he laughed or how he used his hands to demonstrate what was happening quite a lot. As I began to know Phil more, I thought I knew myself more.

-

My first memory hit me like a brick. Phil was just sat down next to me, on his phone playing crossy road.

 

 _'Okay Phil, it's 2005. Myspace is as trendy as it's ever been. Your girlfriend just broke up with you. Your parents just found your poetry blog. You're having a_ terrible _day, now take all of that emotion, and channel it through a beak.'_

_Phil nodded and gripped the microphone._

_'Okay, through a beak.'_

 

I gasped and sat up quickly. Phil clicked his phone off and sat at attention.

"What? What is it? Did you remember anything?"

I nodded, putting my hand over my mouth.

"What did you rememeber Dan?" He gripped my hand to reassure me.

I laughed. "This is so stupid. I rememeber starting to record the emo goose sounds."

He laughed as well. "What do you remember?"

I described to him what I had seen. He nodded. 

"Do you remember anything else?"

I thought hard, but everything after turning the camera off and ending the microphone recording ended abruptly. 

I shook my head, tears coming to my eyes.

"Nothing. Why? Why do I remember that of all things? And why can't I remember anything else?"

I put my head in my hands. Phil wrapped his arm around me and stroked my hair.

"Hey Dan, it's okay. You're starting to remember! This is big! Don't expect to remember everything. This is just the beginning. It's okay. Don't be so hard on yourself. I'm so proud of you."

-

Next week, the doctors deemed me healthy enough to leave the hospital. As I went home with Phil, things felt familiar at once. I had memories of going on the train with him, walking down the halls of the underground, even filming a day in the life video. I got happier and happier the closer I got to home, because the closer I got to home, the more I remembered.

But of course, all of my memories I had recovered had Phil. Phil was a large part of my home. There was almost nothing else without it.

-

A few weeks later, my memories almost completely returned. I had a ways to go before I was completely how I was before, but I had home. I had Phil. And with home, I could take on anything.

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry the ending seemed a bit rushed, but i couldnt think of a good way to finish it sorry
> 
> please comment if this made you feel anything at all, anger, happiness, sadness, confusion  
> i need constructive criticism


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